San Francisco Cowboy 2023

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A 21-year-old cowboy goes to San Francisco to find his mother who abandoned him as a newborn baby and left him at the doorsteps of his priest father

Release Date 2023-08-26
Runtime 2h 0m
Director Hassan Zee
Producer
Writer

This review may contain spoilers.

If director Hassan Zee had simply placed a Number 3 'Sleaze' filter over the lens in this production, he would not have had to work the cast and crew so hard to make the sleaziest film of the decade.


Had he decided to add a large dose of class and sparkle to the film, he could have hired Armistead Maupin to write the screenplay and cast Stormy Daniels to play the lead against a de-aged Jake Gyllenhaal as the Cowboy, with Olympia Dukakis as Madam Dallas.


But he didn't!


Instead he went for sleazy sets, garish cinematography, and wooden 'acting' that is barely more than the stoic recitation of lines of dialog. 


Maybe he could have jacked up (Jaked off?) the sex beyond the quickie peephole views of all the shocking fuck rituals happening for cold hard cash.


But of course since Cowboy is actually in bed with his biological mother (!), Doc Zee fails to develop the obvious Oedipal theme--'cause, remember, this is pure trash, so the audience just wouldn't get any allusion to Sophocles!


Big clue to the mentality the film is targeting: Jesus appears twice, eliciting the biggest laughs when he forgives the dying priest for fornicating with teenage Paris, who leaves her newborn baby boy on his doorstep and takes the bus to San Francisco! 


To become, of course, a HOE! 


Who, in the strange but necessary logic of this hilariously awful sleazebag comedy, MUST encounter her all-growed-up Cowboy son in a bar and, of course, steals his wallet after he invites her to share his hotel room!


Penniless Cowboy is rescued by a kind gay Uber guy, but he turns nasty after Cowboy accepts his offer of free housing--without putting out any 'benefits'. 


Gay Doc Zee should know. He says he arrived penniless from Pakistan and was warmly welcomed in San Francisco! 
(Leaving the warm details to our fertile imaginations.)


And from the looks of it, Zee was almost penniless when he shot this no-budget movie.


But of course not ALL of San Francisco's gay men are sexually frustrated and preoccupied with getting laid every night. 
Just the one gay guy in this sleazebag flick.


Until, of course, the Happy Ending! 
(But not exactly the Happy Ending you might imagine.)


So, see this one AYOR! 


Or just lie back and enjoy the sleaze--like San Franciscans love to do.

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